New Year's Reflections

2010 ——-> 2019

I can’t believe the final day of this decade has arrived. The last 10 years have been the best and worst of my life—but mostly the worst. I look at the new mom-to-be on the left, and I weep for all that is to come.

She doesn’t yet know...

That motherhood will destroy her mental health, but her babies will also be the reason to pick up the pieces.

That her struggles with eating and drinking are symptoms of childhood trauma—not personal failure—and that moderation and healing is possible with the right support.

That the total 20 years she’ll spend dieting is a complete waste of time, money, mental space and energy. That the key to a healthy body is listening to it (aka eating intuitively).

That not everyone she has chosen to be friends with has good intentions, and even those who do won’t stick around when it gets too uncomfortable. That she will feel so isolated and confused and betrayed from this realization that—combined with intolerable side effects from psychiatric medications—her depression and anxiety will become so severe she’ll consider suicide.

That her marriage will be tested to the breaking point more than once, but that she and her husband will come out of it a stronger, happier couple, more committed to their family than ever.

That she isn’t “ok,” but she also isn’t broken.

That she is braver than she ever imagined, and is capable of really REALLY hard things.

That yoga doesn’t suck, and stillness is a greater teacher than any amount of calorie burn.

That after all is said and done, she is finally going to be ok.

Better than ok, in fact—because her experiences will help others, especially that little boy in her belly and his brother who follows in 2013.

For that reason, I’d do it all over again. 🙏🏻